What dolls have taught me about myself
If the last couple years of the pandemic has taught me anything, it’s to try and understand the points of view of people I don’t like. More accurately, the lesson could be described in this way: assume everything I know isn’t true. This is a a large topic and doesn’t have much to do with dolls, but it seemed the right starting point for this blog post. As you read on, you will see this theme come back.
Truthfully, I’m writing this post to distract myself from some work I don’t feel like doing. That seemed fitting, since I’m writing about difficult ideas. Like the idea that sex doll ownership means you must be a bigot. I posted a doll photo I took on my Instagram a week or so back, and someone who follows me accused me of being “MGTOW”. Translation: Men Going Their Own Way. This is an anti-feminist, misogynistic, mostly-online community advocating for men to separate themselves from women and from a society which they believe has been corrupted by feminism - according to wikipedia. Interestingly, the person who accused me of that, has never met me, spoken to me or knows why I have sex dolls. That stood out to me as being a very modern-day problem, especially in social media. People who know me, know about the sex dolls. None of them would make that accusation. That’s an important difference to understand. Said another way: information cures ignorance. Pretty simple. And yet, the guy on IG made a whole series of assumptions about me with none of the required information to know that for sure. As a result, he made a wrong assumption about me. I corrected him, and he never responded. I’m not bothered by his accusation - because I know the truth - but I am bothered by wondering, how often do I do this same thing to others?
Owning sex dolls has been a very surprising experience, compared to what I expected that experience to be when I first placed the order for my now-very-special girl, Mikasa (my Piper Doll Eirian). I thought this was going to be a sexual marathon of expensive sex toy fucking, 2 times a day! Strangely however, that changed even before Mikasa arrived. I had purchased some clothes and supplies for her, and when it all arrived, I dedicated a corner of my room for “her stuff”. It was then I realized she was very real. A real entity that was going to require space in my home and attention from me. That was really the beginning of the journey toward where I am now. A mixture of sex dolls and real people in my life. Real women I fuck and spend time with, friends who visit and talk about life, and sex dolls I hug and kiss every day. And I do hug them and kiss them, every day without fail. I tell them I love them (out loud), I keep their blankets clean, give them baths and treat them as though they are real. Because they ARE real. Not humans, but real all the same. That matters.
In a strange way, the dolls remind me to be careful about my assumptions of others. The dolls are simple. They “share” my values and lifestyle. In fact, they share my life with me. They don’t judge me or question my motives. They aren’t conscious to do so, but that’s not the point. I introduce everyone to the dolls. I don’t hide them. I accept that some friends will stop being friends as a result. That’s happened. But, what that has revealed is, like religion, people can easily get stuck to their wrong ideas. It also reveals how easily I could fall into the same trap. Knowing this problem, hopefully, helps me avoid treating others with the same level of disrespect and flawed thinking.
My good girls keep me honest, make life fun and keep me happy. I try to live by the wisdom they teach.